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kenny n me
jade rachel manz gf n me at monster massive 06 
ryan n aya
Paul Van Dike at sports arena Monster Massive 06
melisha n me at monster massive 06 in LA sports arena
pansy n me
judy n meme
dan dan n me |
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| Love iz patience... love iz kind.... i bet we neva had dat at all in our past 3 yrz... datz y.. it had come to an end... well... im movin on without u for few monthz alreadi... n... i guezz im alrite.. nah... sorri..dat waz a lie... if datz true.. how wud i still typin all theze thingz here.. i noe u wont recognize thiz site until one day ur gonna make ur own xanga.. but den itz kinda impossible cuz ur such a lazy basturd to get up ur ass n to write sth abt urself... sumtymz... i realli wonder... haf we ever loved each other at all? if we realli did... y didnt we haf trust between each other? n ... y did we alwayz tri to gif up so easily? u were once my everthin... n u had been alwayz in mah mind for 24/7.. n damn it... still now.. u wud appear in my dreamz... cant u juzt get the hell out from my world? y cant i juzt stop finking abt u? cuz jim... donchu noe dat... dayz wifout u iz lyk the sky wifout any starz.... therez no light.... to guide me to the front.... |
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| do u still remember the dayz when we were in high school? we were so naive n pure dat time... do u still remember when we used to ditch classes n stayed at ur place n juzt watched moviez for the whole day? remember the dayz when i used to ride the bus to ur house n u told me how happi u felt? do u still remember i told u how much i lub u on our first night n i juzt couldnt stop crying? do u still remember u told me i still look pretty wif my sweat? do u still remember... how i fell in love wif u? i fell in love wif u when u gave me the heart shaped candy in san gabrielz life plaza... lol.. well.. i wont eva forget the first time u cried for me.. the time when i waz crying n u told me ur heart felt so painful... i wont forget the first present u gave me... the small pink whale.. n i wont forget our first kiss at dennyz house... n also our first double date wif sky n haneka.. even though i kinda mad at u rite now.. cuz uve been treating me so not fair... but ... thinking abt the past.. well.. we did had a lot of fun.. n it waz a realli nice experience hafing u as my bf.. u made me become a stronger person.. i realli learnt how to forgive n tolerate ppl wif a truthful heart.. i hope.. from now on.. u will haf a beta job... n a beta life... well.. u can do it jim.. cuz ur the greatest good of all.. i will alwayz pray for u somewhere at ur back.. n i will alwayz wish the best for u... even though we cant be together physically... we will alwayz be connected to each other mentally... ... gd bye jim.. n plz.. haf a beta life than me ^....^
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| ur alwayz not there for me when i realli need u.... u alwayz tell me to be strong... n try to walk by my own... u dont realli noe that im a weak person huh? haha... sigh... yea... jim.. dont u noe that im alwayz lonely? u alwayz come to my place during midnight... n when u wake up the other morning... ur gonna eat at my house n go chill wif ur frdz... n when itz night time... u come to my house again... n u juzt play ps2 or watch moviez ... n go sleep again... n the other morning... ur gonna go out wif ur frdz leaving me alone... lyk a... ? iono... mayb my place iz lyk a motel for u rite? how convinient it z... haha.. im taking sleeping pillz theze dayz... since i cant sleep well during nite time... i sleep more than 12 hrz a day now... damn... diz iz crazy.. but well.. itz also a gd idea.... i will stay in my dream longer than in the real world... so i can do wateva i want in my dream... itz beta to stay at home more... cuz i dont need to spend money ... or to face my other frdz... itz beta to be alone... to drink alone... to eat alone... n to watch tv alone... n juzt to fink alone... im not gonna disturb anibody... n nobody gonna disturb me also... once when ur used to the loneliness n the sadness... u wont feel as pain as before... datz true... mayb im feeling that way now... well... life goez on.... |
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| wat m i doing.... im lost again... i donno wat should i do next.. i need money to pay for my rent n my school fee... i want a stable job so badly... ive been spoiling myself too much... i haf been playing toooo much dat i forgot the thingz i should be taking care of.... i need to keep everyfin on track n try to manage thingz rite... or else im gonna be realli fucked up again lyk before... i will try to stop being irresponsible.. i need to be more independent from now on... not to rely on frdz or family ... not to make them worri... i feel so ashamed of wat ive been doing... i need to start to realize dat itz realli da time for me to be strong... |
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